You’ve just been hit by a Sucka Punch

Let’s get done with the stats, Movie: SUKER PUNCH

It’s a March 2011 PG13 action/fantasy/thriller movie with 6.8/10 on IMDB and shows around Mumbai as U/A.

First Impressions:

I came across it in the papers. The title was calligraphed such a way that it seemed something like a potter or a rings movie. Well ofcourse it’s not the title that caught my eye at first. The later pictures and trailers depicted cute girls fighting robots, giant samurais, dragons and an army of dead steam powered soldiers in a WWII background.  I couldn’t rap my head around the concept of the movie and curiosity coupled with DUI (here D stands for decision) led to the purchase of tickets for the next day show. To set my hopes to the appropriate level, I checked imdb, but there were no ratings up yet. Oh well..

The Theatre:

The movie starts in green tint and stunning camera angles. The sound effects and background music meshed well with the on screen activities. 

Introducing Baby doll, (Emily Browning) the young girl (unbelievably not a young teen but 20yrs as it said on her medical report later) who just lost her mother. Mom leaves the fortune to both her daughters, which infuriates the step dad. More dramatic slow-mo and rock music, angle shots later, step-dad shoves her into a mental asylum where she is destined to get a lobotomy (don’t ask why). 

The movie title appearing from the rain drops flowing down the car window was nicely done.

The mental asylum is then shown as a burlesque house run by the doctors and guards there, which made sense judging from the other gorgeous inmates here. She is soon met by Rocket, an spunky inmate, who shows her around the place. In the ballet hall (or so I think) we meet the rest of her kick ass compadres stretching wearing slender long stockings and black eye liner. 

The governess, a woman who tries hard on her Russian accent, compels Baby doll to do a dance. Baby doll closes her eyes (just before the dance) and we are transported far away to another world. Stunning graphics (-me likey). She meets an old American guy in a Buddhist robe giving her instructions for her final escape along with a 42 caliber and a Hattori hanzo. Soon she is dodging blades, bullets and the viewer’s confusion. I didn’t mind (how often do guys see a chick act out a pc game.)(not talking about guys who still play tomb raider)

A client is scheduled to meet Baby Doll in 5 days, before which she intendeds to escape. Baby’s dance is so mesmerising that the bad guys can’t take their eyes off her which gives time for her crew to collect the (4+1unknow) things they need to escape.

Hmm I taught to myself, just 5 things and they already got 2 , so what is the rest of the movie about?..Soon the screen said INTERVAL! Damn an hour went by??  If Einstein was sitting along with us he would have shouted ‘ Relativity!! you suckers’.

A pop corn and coke later, Baby doll dances again at appropriate occasions and we are taken back to different scenic arenas, now accompanied by four other eye candy damsels. The graphics, animations and shots are worth applauding.

The old guy (termed ‘wise guy’ on IMDB) returns at each arena in appropriate costume and gives them objectives. Many fight scenes and backgrounds made me nostalgic of my offline PC fights with soldiers, zombies & monsters. The arena and objectives resembled games like Quake, Dragon Age, War Craft, COD, Left for dead, Tekken and Unreal tournament-(the train plot was dead on UT).

So in short (or in shorts), girls in enrapturing costumes armed with M16, Uzi, Bazooka, Swords getting perfect head shots on enemy AI along with slicing and dicing robots by yours truly baby doll, with realistic stunts, I ask who wouldn’t like this shit! 

(ans –‘most women’)(pst.. a couple were seated next to us, and I heard "stupid, yeh kaisi movie dekne layeho mujhe"

By the end, the movie is entering the closing phase, the phase where most movies cut short and take a nose dives into the viewer expression.. ‘wahhaaa?!?’,  but sucker punch maintains altitude and then lands it safe. Baby doll learns of the fifth (till now unknown) ‘thing’ needed for their escape.(I won’t be a spoiler)Escapees escape and those who didn't would rather forget their present shitty reality. The last five minutes is upto the viewer how he/she (mostly he) wants to stitch the plot together.

 

Opinion:

If you are a guy and enjoy gaming- You are the one for whom this movie was made 

The chicks and accessories are cute

Anime and graphics-kudos

Camera shots, fight scenes coupled with sound tracks - nice

Plot is ehh.. is digestible if your hopes aren’t too high

Verdict: A good one-time-must-watch because I did not necessarily know what I was watching, but I sure as hell liked what I saw.

Pyromaniac

Growing up into teens I was unaware of this word or its meaning. I was living in the best time of life, without even realizing it. Morning school and evening play. It is in those glory days that I grew cognizant of the awe of fire, its glow, heat, the crackling sound and the smell of smoke from burnt wood.

The first fire made was when I was in my native place. In a kitchen where my aunts were cooking food on the open stove(the Indian chula). I used to peak into the furnace and  poke the wood burning inside. The burnt wood revealed golden red chars lying within the ashes; this would have been mesmerizing to any little kid. I took out the burning wood and placed it in the pocket of the adjacent empty stove. The fire was out but it was still glowing red. I fed it some dried coconut leaves and blew; and viola fire was born. The later years I always carried a match box long with me (burning stuff became my speciality). Now even travelling from one house to another at night wasn’t really possible without a torch or flash light. Nope, both aren’t the same. The next house would be 20mins walk through dense foliage & climbing hilly terrain. I liked the torch. The torch was a rolled up dried coconut leaf (the entire thing folded in half and rolled). If it is beginning to extinguish then just waving it will revitalize the flames.

Back home during Diwali was another time of fun and experimentation, burning crackers with magnifying lenses on the terrace. Once we found a half burnt beedi and we got to work. Just then the building watchman walked up on us from behind. 'Hey! What the hell are you kids up to this time?’ .We froze in fear, I was holding the lens and my friend held the beedi, which was now starting to smoke. We spoke together that we were just trying to light it up and nothing else. He gave a smile and walked off saying we lit the wrong end.

The morning after Diwali night we used to scavenge for unburned crackers, flower pots and sparklers. We collected the baaroodh (the burning chemical) and packed it inside unlikely casings to make crude bombs of our own. It did explode most times but I remember once when it didn't (and glad about it). During school days we were put into the habit of using ink pens. This later resulted in us having broken pen nibs and empty ink bottles. Me and a friend filled the chemical in such an empty ink bottle up to the brim (didn’t really stuff it in). We later joined several fuse threads and inserted one end into the bottle. The apparatus was in the corridor right outside our home. I lit the long fuse and both of us ran to a corner, but within line of sight. There was blinding flash of light and a mushroom shaped smoke rising upwards. We couldn’t really see anything clearly for some minutes. The ceiling above discoloured black. The glass bottle had only cracked and lay there innocently in pieces. It was then, we realised how awfully bad things could have gone wrong.


 Undeterred we went on carrying out experiments the later years, some like-
-A‘Chakri’ by bending a cracker in a ‘U’.
-Removing the hard end of the cracker makes it propel forwards. Same happens if one stuffs it inside a particular pen cap.
-Attaching a long fuse green ‘rassi’ bomb to a rocket.
-Blowing up PVC and clay type drainage pipes & flower pots (unused ones, really!)
- Sequential blasting of sand castles (this took a lot of prep).
-We still couldn't master flight by making a whole rocket.

Those days will sure be missed. But I try to get in touch with my roots sometimes.

Like most recently I sprayed aerosol into an empty plastic water bottle. When lit, the fumes keep burning from its mouth and when its belly pressed, spits amazing fire balls.

In future I aspire to make fire the old and forgotten way, i.e. rubbing sticks together..